did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
