Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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