i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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