were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
