Nicole vs. Life
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
