I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
