Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
