My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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