D3 body, D1 cock
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
