Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
