Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
