i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
