there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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