Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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