oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i now understand why vodka
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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