good thing vaginas are great cup holders
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize