Sponge bath it is.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
