I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
