the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
