You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Drunk is not a location!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
