i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
