just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
