God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
