dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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