The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
