girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
