So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
