I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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