Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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