I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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