I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
