i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize