Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
