You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize