I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize