SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish i was in the wii world.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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