I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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