The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
