when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
