i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
