you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize