Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
