At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
