How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
