And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
