i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and she was petting her beer can
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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