Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
