I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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