My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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