But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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