check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
