We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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