Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
