My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
