please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
