my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
