idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
