I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
