I'm eating all of the evidence.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
