grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
