How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
