im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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