y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
