I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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