So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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