apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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