So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
from now on my penis is your penis
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
