I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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