I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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